Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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