I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
