Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
