Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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