I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's like God shit irony all over that family
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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