I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I smell stomach acid.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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