he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
