I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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