I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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