do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
