walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We don't watch enough power rangers
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Randomize
