...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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