I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Panties = found
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
