wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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