Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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