just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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