why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
