Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
