Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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