P.S. I can't hear my feet
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
