3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
