Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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