I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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