How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
