Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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