tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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