My underwear smells like fireworks.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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