Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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