wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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