Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
