oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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