whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
