i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
