i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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