I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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