just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
