dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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