Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
