Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
