It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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