i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
