Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
