Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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