around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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