And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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