I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just google imaged poop.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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