I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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