seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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