I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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