if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
