FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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