Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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