I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
