How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
