I love black thongs
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
wanna go halves on a baby?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
