Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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