im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
